SPEAKER_00 0:00

Have you ever felt a soft whisper inside you that says, do this, and then you talked yourself out of it? Today I'm going to show you how to tell the difference between three feelings that show up when you're facing a decision: an intuitive hit, a gut feeling, and fear. I'm also going to show you what to do next so you stop getting stuck. And in a minute, I'm going to share my clarity check. It's three simple questions you can use to get clear fast. This is the Break It Down Room, my solo series where we take the real emotional truth of midlife change and turn it into practical steps you can use this week. Most of your life you've been the responsible one, the one who keeps it together. That's just what midlife women did and still do. But that worked for a long time, but it also trained you to trust your brain more than your body. So when a quiet knowing shows up, you second guess it. If you've been stuck in decision mode lately or ever, stay with me. Midlife cracks the old identity. Kids leave, jobs shift or end, divorce happens, grief happens, and sometimes you look at your partner and you think, Who are we now? And it can feel scary because you can't go back, but you're not fully forward yet either. And suddenly all of those old rules do not work anymore. So you do something different. You start to make lists, you ask five people their opinion, and you still can't land the decision. Not because you're broken, but because you're trying to solve an inner decision with outer noise. Okay, quick check. Are you really listening right now, or are you already trying to figure out what you're gonna do later? Okay, let's slow this down and name the three signals gut feeling, intuitive hit, and fear. And let's break those down in plain language. First, a gut feeling is a quick, hey, you need to pay attention here. An intuitive hit is quieter and steadier, like a green light. For some of us, it feels gently heavy and grounded. For example, for me, it feels super grounded in my body, like the truth just landed. And the third one is fear. Fear is loud and urgent. Sometimes it's a tight chest, sometimes it's racing thoughts. Do it now or else. Now, here's where most of us get tripped up. I'm going to use an example of you thinking about quitting your nine to five and starting your own thing. So this thought has come to you. Now, if it's a gut feeling that you should quit your nine to five and start your own thing, you might feel a little flutter, like, hmm, okay, maybe I should do something like that. If you think you should quit your nine to five and start your own thing, and through the lens of an intuitive hit, your breath is going to steady, your shoulders will drop, and it stays calm later that day. It keeps coming back in a quiet way, like a steady yes. And if it's fear that's driving that decision, your jaw is going to tighten, your thoughts are going to rush, and you want to get permission fast. So you might want to text five people and ask, Do you think I should do this? That is so common. And a lot of that time, that decision, that thing that you want to do is being driven by fear, especially if you feel like you need to validate the decision by texting five people right now about that one thing. So if you are texting five people about that thing, I want you to pause because that's a clue. So here's what to do so you can get clear and take one step forward. Step one is name the feeling in 60 seconds. I want you to close your eyes, take five slow breaths, and then say, based on that thing, I want to do, is it intuition, gut, or fear? The second step is to use my clarity check. So when you're stuck on a decision, you don't really need a perfect answer. You really do need clarity. So ask yourself these questions. Question one is, is this calm or is it chaotic? If it's calm, that usually points to an intuitive hit. If it's chaotic, that's usually going to point to fear. Question two, what is my body doing right now? Does it feel grounded? Do I feel steady? Or do I feel tight, tense, and clenched? That is a sign of fear. Question three is Does this still feel true after a little time in space? If it flips, fades, or turns into a spiral, that's noise, that's fear, and that's not where you want to go. But if it is feeling true and calm, then that's your intuitive hit. Here's how to simplify this a little bit more. Calm, grounded, steady. If that's your feeling, that's your green light to take one small step into the direction of that decision. If it feels chaotic, tight, changing, that's your sign to pause and get quiet. And step three is do the 24-hour check. If you can sleep on it, no polling friends, you're not going to text anybody, check again tomorrow in a quiet moment. If the yes is still steady, that's information. That's your intuitive hit. If it flips, fades, or turns into a spiral, that's also information. That's probably fear. Step four is take one tiny step. Right after listening to this episode, I want you to take 10 minutes and do this small little action that matches the calm yes, not a leap, just a step. I want you to either send the email, book the call, write the outline, figure out what is it that you really truly are going after, and choose one small move that builds trust with yourself. So now let me tie this together because this is really the whole point. The gut feeling is your body saying, pay attention. It's a signal, not a command. So it's not asking you to do anything, it's just a pay attention. An intuitive hit is your quiet inner yes. It's steady, it's clear, and it keeps coming back. Fear is the pressure voice. It rushes you, it tightens you, and it makes you outsource the decision. Your job is not to get rid of the fear. Your job is to name it so it doesn't drive you. And when you can name the signal and you can take the next step without spiraling. So that's what I want you to do from now on as you're looking at making decisions, or if you're thinking about doing something, ask yourself: is it intuitive hit? Did it come calm? Did I feel it in my body? Is it fear that's driving it? Does it feel tight? Does it feel like I've got to take action now? I've got to ask my friends. Or does it feel like it's just something that you just need to bring awareness to, which is your gut feeling? So if this helped, join me in my school community. I'm gonna put prompts and tools in there to help you figure all of this out. The link is in the description. And if you want to keep going, watch the next break it down room, episode number nine, and it's gonna be all about the moment you stop shrinking and start showing up. So thank you for being with me here today. I see you and I appreciate you.